Why does every spiritual group eventually feel like high school?

[Jacklaw]

So I've been bouncing between a few local meetup groups and online circles the past few months, and I keep noticing the same weird pattern. Doesn't matter if it's a tarot study group, a meditation circle, or an astrology workshop. There's always this moment where the social dynamics take over and the actual spiritual stuff becomes secondary.

Last week I went to a group tarot pull and someone got the Hierophant. Instead of talking about what that card might mean for them personally, the whole conversation shifted into this weird debate about who in the room had the "right" interpretation. It felt performative. Like people were scoring points.

And I get it. Carl Jung talked about the persona — the mask we wear to fit into social situations. But I think in spiritual communities, there's this extra layer where people don't even realize they're performing. The persona becomes "the most spiritually evolved person in the room." I've caught myself doing it too, honestly. Dropping some obscure reference I just read to sound like I know what I'm talking about.

What bugs me is that it seems counterproductive. If we're all here to grow and explore consciousness, why are we recreating the same cliquey status games from everywhere else?

My theory — and this is just me thinking out loud — is that a lot of people come into these spaces carrying unhealed stuff. That's fine, that's probably why we're all here. But when nobody acknowledges that, it just gets projected onto the group dynamics. Suddenly you've got gurus and followers forming organically, and anyone who questions the vibe gets labeled "low frequency" or whatever the term is this week.

I'm not trying to be cynical. I've had genuinely beautiful moments in community ritual work. There's something real there when people drop the act. But those moments feel rare compared to the noise.

Anyone else notice this? Is there a way to build spiritual community that doesn't fall into this trap, or is it just human nature reasserting itself no matter what framework we dress it up in? Genuinely curious what you all think.

[cryptic_violin_3860]

I think you're assuming the status games are noise getting in the way of the "real" spiritual work, but what if the social dynamics are the actual content and the tarot cards are just the excuse? I kept thinking about your Hierophant example because that card is literally about institutional authority and conformity — the group basically enacted its meaning while debating what it meant, which is kind of wild if you step back and look at it. In my experience drawing comics, I've noticed that the stories groups tell about themselves matter more than whatever topic they ostensibly gathered around, and maybe the uncomfortable truth is that spiritual communities don't fail at escaping human nature — they just reveal it more clearly because the stated ideals are so high.