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  4. Putting My Venus Sign on My Dating Profile Changed the Kind of Matches I Get Completely

Putting My Venus Sign on My Dating Profile Changed the Kind of Matches I Get Completely

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Love and Astrology
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  • N Offline
    N Offline
    neural_net_nancy
    wrote last edited by
    #80

    "maybe the profile change just collapsed me into a different branch"

    I buy the filtering argument, but borrowing many-worlds for this is exactly the kind of category error that makes physicists cringe โ€” you don't need quantum mechanics when signaling theory explains it perfectly well.

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    • O Offline
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      over_thinking_7683
      wrote last edited by
      #81

      Your point about Scorpio's specific cultural valence is maybe more important than the astrological framework itself, and I think I can push that further.

      I tried something similar with my Mercury sign a while back โ€” figured it'd filter for people who wanted to actually communicate. Instead I just got worse matches, people who wanted to debate whether astrology was valid instead of, you know, talk. So the filtering effect isn't universal to astrology-as-signal. It's probably placement-dependent.

      And I think that's because Scorpio occupies a really specific niche in pop culture right now. It's been branded as the "deep one," the sign that's intense, obsessive, unwilling to settle for surface-level. Whether or not that's accurate to actual astrological tradition (I'm not qualified to say), that's the semantic payload it carries on dating apps in 2024. So when you put "Venus in Scorpio" on your profile, you're not really communicating astrological information. You're communicating "I have read enough self-help and pop-psych content to signal that I want depth." Which is... maybe its own kind of performance, honestly.

      "You're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back."

      I think this framing from your post is actually the most honest part, but it might undercut the astrology-as-causal-mechanism reading. What you're doing seems closer to running an A/B test on your audience with different copy. "Venus in Scorpio" is just unusually effective copy because it's dense with cultural meaning that most other placements lack. Whether that's a good or bad thing, I'm honestly not sure.

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      • L Offline
        L Offline
        luke_6253
        wrote last edited by
        #82

        "You're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back."

        But the void here is a recommendation algorithm trained on engagement metrics โ€” I'd be curious whether the matches changed because of the symbol or because Hinge's model started serving you people who respond to unconventional prompts.

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        • D Online
          D Online
          diligent_fox_8291
          wrote last edited by
          #83

          The many-worlds framing at the end interests me more than the astrology bit, honestly, though I think it's being misapplied here.

          "Many-worlds interpretation says every possibility branches off โ€” maybe the profile change just collapsed me into a different branch where the matches were always going to be like this."

          That's not quite how many-worlds works. The branches don't collapse โ€” that's the whole point. Decoherence happens, sure, but there's no "collapsing into" a particular branch in the Everett picture. You're already in all of them simultaneously, with no privileged branch. What I think you're actually gesturing toward is something closer to observation selection โ€” you changed the conditions of the system, and now you're observing different outputs. That's not mystical, that's just causal, and I say that as someone who's genuinely sympathetic to the quantum-mysticism overlaps that get talked about here.

          Your Jungian angle is stronger, I think. When you put "Venus in Scorpio" on a profile, you're not transmitting information in the narrow Shannon sense โ€” you're transmitting a symbol, and symbols do something fundamentally different than data. They activate resonances. Whether you want to call that archetypal activation or just sophisticated social signaling, I think you're right that it's doing real psychological work that "I like deep conversations" simply doesn't.

          But I'd caution against the leap from "this worked as a filter" to "Scorpio specifically is potent as a signal." I'd want to see someone try Venus in Taurus โ€” same sign, opposite modality, very different cultural associations โ€” and see if the filtering effect is about depth-signaling in general or something particular to the Scorpio mythology. My suspicion is the former, but I've been wrong before.

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          • J Offline
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            jen_2847
            wrote last edited by
            #84

            You're right that it's filtering for depth, but I think there's something even simpler going on โ€” you made yourself legible to a specific kind of person. My grandmother used to say the Two of Cups only shows up when both people have already decided what they're actually looking for, not what they think they should want. Putting Venus in Scorpio out there is basically saying "I'm intense and I know it" โ€” and the people who respond to that aren't just okay with depth, they've already done their own work figuring out they need it too. That's not confirmation bias, that's just honest signaling in a space built on performance.

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            • B Offline
              B Offline
              breathing_through
              wrote last edited by
              #85

              I think you're overcomplicating this by reaching for quantum mechanics when Gazzaniga's split-brain research gives you a much simpler explanation โ€” we're just really good at constructing narratives that make sense of changes we don't fully understand. > "you're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back" โ€” I'd argue you're not activating anything in the collective unconscious, you're just using a highly specific filter that happens to work because most dating profiles are aggressively generic. In my experience with breathwork circles, I've seen people do similar things with labeling their attachment style or trauma history, and the filtering effect is real but it's not mystical โ€” it's just that specificity attracts specificity. The vulnerability piece you're touching on with the Two of Cups is real, but I don't think the symbol itself is doing the work; I think you were already ready to be seen differently, and the Venus sign was just the vehicle.

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              • C Offline
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                chakra_chaos
                wrote last edited by
                #86

                "you're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back"

                Or you're doing what I did during my awakening โ€” constructing a meaning-making machine that feels like depth but is actually just pattern recognition running hot. I'm not saying your matches didn't change, but I'd ask: are you sure you filtered for people who don't flinch at depth, or did you filter for people who share your framework for narrativizing intensity? There's a difference, and I learned the hard way that someone who can talk about Venus in Scorpio isn't necessarily someone who can sit with actual chaos when it shows up uninvited.

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                • L Offline
                  L Offline
                  lotus_position_404
                  wrote last edited by
                  #87

                  "casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back"

                  i tried something similar after my partner died and what it pulled back wasn't depth โ€” it was people who wanted to be the one to "heal" me. the symbol doesn't just attract those who don't flinch. sometimes it attracts those looking for a wound.

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                  • S Offline
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                    still_confused_99
                    wrote last edited by
                    #88

                    You're not describing yourself factually. You're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back.

                    Or you just told people "I'm intense and obsessive" and intense obsessive people matched with you. Not everything needs archetypal framing โ€” sometimes a signal is just a signal.

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                    • L Offline
                      L Offline
                      lazy_afternoon_339
                      wrote last edited by
                      #89

                      ok I gotta push back on this a little ๐Ÿ˜…

                      you're not describing yourself factually. You're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back

                      I think you're giving the symbol way too much credit here. Like, I get the appeal of framing it through Jung and collective unconscious and all that โ€” it sounds cool and it feels meaningful. But there's a way simpler explanation that you're kind of skating past.

                      When you put "Venus in Scorpio" on your profile, you're not activating some deep archetypal resonance in people's psyches. You're signalling a subculture. You're telling people "I'm the kind of person who knows their Venus sign and thinks it's relevant enough to put on a dating profile." The people who respond to that are filtering themselves in based on shared cultural knowledge, not some mystical symbol-recognition process. It's basically the same mechanism as putting a band name on there โ€” you attract people who identify with that subculture.

                      And honestly? I think there's a downside to this approach that you're not considering. When someone sees "Venus in Scorpio" and thinks "oh nice, they're into depth and intensity," they're not actually seeing you. They're seeing a template. They're projecting a whole personality onto you based on one placement. I just went through a breakup where a lot of the relationship was built on that kind of projected compatibility โ€” "oh you have this placement, I have that placement, we must mesh." And the reality was way more complicated and messy than that. The version of me they thought they were getting didn't really exist.

                      So yeah, maybe it changes your matches, but I'd ask whether it's actually changing them in a way that helps you find someone who likes you and not just the idea of you.

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                      • S Offline
                        S Offline
                        serene_chaos
                        wrote last edited by
                        #90

                        "You're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back."

                        I dig the framing, but I'd flip it โ€” maybe the symbol didn't pull anything back, maybe it just changed you. In chaos magic, the sigil works not because it broadcasts into the universe but because it sneaks a desire past your conscious censor and into your behavioral patterns. Putting "Venus in Scorpio" on your profile might've just been a belief-shifting technique that made you subconsciously select differently, engage differently, notice different messages. You didn't collapse into a new branch โ€” you quietly rewired your own filtering algorithm and then told yourself a story about why the world changed. Still useful, still real in its effects, but the locus of the magic might be way more internal than you're giving it credit for.

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                        • S Offline
                          S Offline
                          still_confused_99
                          wrote last edited by
                          #91

                          Or you just told people "I'm intense and obsessive" and intense obsessive people matched with you.

                          That was me. I still stand by it โ€” I think OP is overcomplicating the mechanism. But I've been thinking about it more and there's a middle ground I was too dismissive of.

                          In qigong, intent matters. Not in a mystical hand-wavy way โ€” when you set an intention before practice, you're priming your nervous system, directing attention, creating a feedback loop between what you're focusing on and what your body actually does. The symbol isn't magic, but it's not just information either. It changes how you hold yourself.

                          I wonder if something similar happened here. OP didn't just change the text on their profile. Putting "Venus in Scorpio" out there probably shifted how they engaged with every match that came through โ€” different energy, different responses, different selection pattern over time. The symbol works on you before it works on anyone else.

                          That said, I'd push back on the Jung collective unconscious angle. "Activating an archetype in whoever's scrolling" is a huge claim. You'd need to show that non-astrology people responded differently too, not just the ones who already speak the language. Without that, it's just in-group signaling dressed up in archetypal clothing.

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                          • Q Offline
                            Q Offline
                            quiet_storm_rising
                            wrote last edited by
                            #92

                            I want to push back gently on this, because I think there's a premise here that deserves more scrutiny.

                            "you're filtering for people who are okay with depth. Who don't flinch."

                            But what does "depth" actually mean here? In my experience with somatic work, what we often recognize as depth or intensity is really just familiar nervous system patterning. Venus in Scorpio gets romanticized as this sign that wants "real" connection, but from a Peter Levine perspective, the obsessive, consuming quality you described can also look a lot like a dysregulated attachment response โ€” the body interpreting hypervigilance as passion. I'm not saying that's what's happening with you, but I don't think we can assume that people who don't flinch at Scorpio energy are automatically healthier or more capable of real intimacy.

                            The Two of Cups framing is beautiful, but I'd argue mutual exchange requires regulation, not just vulnerability. Two people pouring intense energy into each other without ground can become a trauma bond pretty fast. I think the filtering effect you're seeing is real โ€” but I'd be cautious about calling it depth. It might just be specificity. And specificity attracts people who resonate with that particular frequency, whether that frequency is actually good for them or not.

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                            • D Offline
                              D Offline
                              dharma_bum_99
                              wrote last edited by
                              #93

                              I think you're right that something real shifted, but I'd push back on the many-worlds framing โ€” that's just dressing up a much simpler mechanism in physics metaphors it doesn't need. > "you're casting a symbol into the void and seeing what it pulls back" โ€” sure, but that's not archetypal activation, that's just honest signaling cutting through the noise of performative dating app culture. When I was sitting in those Zen temples they kept hammering that the framework you bring to a moment determines what you find there, and I think your Venus sign did exactly that โ€” not by tapping into some collective unconscious, but by making you legible to a specific kind of person who's already looking for depth and just couldn't find it among the tacos.

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