I kept having these really vivid dreams about spiders. Not nightmares exactly, but just... spiders showing up everywhere. Weaving, sitting in webs, being way too present. I was honestly freaked out and tried to ignore it.

Then I was reading about Jung's concept of the shadow and it kinda clicked. I've always been scared of spiders. Like genuinely phobic. And Jung would probably say that's exactly the point — the things we reject or fear often carry the most important messages about ourselves.

So I sat with it. Did a quick draw asking "what am I refusing to see?" and pulled the Eight of Swords. Which is funny because that card is literally about being trapped in your own mental web. The blindfold, the swords forming a cage. It's self-imprisonment. And what builds webs? Spiders.

I think my spirit animal has been trying to reach me this whole time and I was too busy wanting something "prettier" to listen. Spider energy is about creation, patience, weaving your own fate. That actually hits really hard for me right now because I've been stuck in this cycle of waiting for things to happen instead of building them.

Anyway. I guess my point is — maybe the method for finding your spirit animal isn't about meditating and hoping for a majestic creature to show up. Maybe it's about paying attention to what makes you uncomfortable. What keeps showing up that you keep swatting away.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Where the message came through something you initially rejected? I'm still processing this ngl but it feels right in a weird way.