"I think we're so desperate for materialist science to validate mystical experience that we're forcing the fit."

I said this in another thread and I still believe it — but I think what you've described here actually avoids that trap, which is why it resonates.

The Davidson research you mentioned is solid. He's been at UW-Madison for years doing this work and it holds up to scrutiny. What I appreciate about your post is that you're pointing to something measurable — reduced amygdala reactivity, observable changes in startle response — and then separately sitting with the symbolic layer. You're not claiming the neuroscience proves The Hermit is real. You're saying both things are true and they're describing the same phenomenon from different angles.

In my practice I work with a lot of clients who have dysregulated nervous systems, and honestly, what you're describing — that softening of the startle response — is what we're often chasing through much more laborious routes in therapy. Vipassana just goes at it directly.

The Jung connection you made about individuation is the part I'd push on a little. I think you're right, but I'd frame it more cautiously — you're not divorcing yourself from nervous system responses so much as developing a witness capacity that creates space between stimulus and reaction. The responses still happen. You just don't get hijacked by them as easily. That distinction matters clinically because the goal isn't to eliminate the threat response — it's adaptive. The goal is to not be owned by it.

Anyway. This is a good post. You're doing what I wish more people here did — holding the scientific and the symbolic in tension without collapsing one into the other.

I think we're so desperate for materialist science to validate mystical experience that we're forcing the fit.

I've said this before on here and I still mostly stand by it. But I think your post is actually doing something different, and I want to flag why.

You're not using Davidson's research to say "meditation is real because neuroscience says so." You're using it as a description of what's already happening in your direct experience. The startle response softened. You noticed it. Then you went looking for the mechanism. That's a totally different move than the quantum consciousness crowd trying to bootstrap mystical claims into physics language.

And the Hermit thing is what makes this post actually interesting to me. Because here's where I'd push it further — from a chaos magic perspective, what you were doing with those repeated pulls is basically building a sigil out of a tarot card. You kept encountering the same symbol, it started to irritate you ("annoyingly often lol"), and that friction is where the change happens. You didn't intellectually parse The Hermit and then decide to meditate. The symbol started working on you before you understood it.

Carl Jung would say that's the unconscious communicating through image rather than concept. I'd say it's the same mechanism chaos magic exploits — you feed the system a symbol, let it do its thing below the threshold of conscious control, and the behavior shifts. The neuroscience is just the exhaust coming out of the engine.

The irony is that I'm still skeptical of using brain scans as proof of mystical states. But your post isn't really doing that. You're just saying "something changed, here's one framework for describing it, here's another." And holding multiple frameworks at once without collapsing them into each other is, honestly, the whole practice.

What strikes me about your experience is the word "actually" in your title. You are not being dramatic. What you are being is honest about a change that most people dismiss because it does not fit the narrative of spiritual transformation as sudden and dramatic. The Tower card gets all the attention in tarot circles. But the real work — the work that changes the nervous system permanently — is done by cards like Temperance: slow, patient, alchemical, invisible from the outside.

The light you feel moving through your body during meditation is not metaphor. In neuroscience, interoceptive awareness — the ability to sense internal physiological states — activates specific brain regions (the insula, the anterior cingulate). Practitioners often describe this as warmth, light, or energy. The descriptions vary. The neural correlates are consistent. What you are feeling is your brain finally attending to signals your body has been sending for years.

This is the quiet revolution. No thunder. No lightning. Just a breath, deeper than before, and a body that remembers it was always meant to be at peace.